A person needs a person: how boarding schools restore family ties

      Sometimes a person needs very little: to be remembered, to receive a call, to have someone come over, to sit next to them... For residents of psychiatric boarding schools, such simple things often turn out to be unattainable. Lost connections with relatives sever not only the past but also the possibility of living outside the system. However, even after decades of separation, these connections can sometimes be restored. How this happens was discovered by the editorial team of NIA "Nizhny Novgorod."

      When not just relatives are sought

      In the Arzamas social service home for children "Mayak," 87 people live – children and young adults with severe developmental disabilities. Many of them cannot move independently and require constant care. And it is there that they began to do what staff at such institutions often lack time for – searching for relatives.

      Evgenia Gabova, director of "Mayak"

      The idea to systematically search for the relatives of the wards arose for the institution's director Evgenia Gabova during her training at the Institute of Social Change Advisors of the People's Front project "Region of Care." Thanks to the project, 39 families at "Mayak" renewed communication with their children, five wards returned to their biological families, and four to foster families. Later, this experience began to be applied in other similar institutions. "Every person at birth experiences a need for a significant adult. This need for attachment emerged in humanity during the process of evolution, so family is very important for every child. When this attachment is absent, the child's stress hormone levels begin to spike, blocking their development. Children in boarding schools often look two years younger at 20. We search for those significant adults for children – biological relatives or foster families," explained Evgenia Gabova.

      Antonina Govorkova, specialist at "Mayak"

      The search for relatives at "Mayak" is handled by specialist Antonina Govorkova. She studies the personal files of the wards, searches for people through social networks and agencies, contacts relatives, and invites them to the boarding school. During her time there, she managed to find relatives for 57 wards. Relatives began to visit 24 of them. Four wards returned to their biological families, one went under guardianship, four received personal nannies, and six children began to spend nights visiting relatives or significant adults.

      The most difficult part – the first meeting

      Finding a person is only half the battle. Many families are not ready to return to communication right away. Some are afraid, some feel guilty, and some simply do not know where to start. Even if a meeting occurs, it is rarely straightforward. Relatives do not understand how to talk to a child they haven't seen for years, especially if the child does not speak or is withdrawn. To help, "Mayak" has equipped a family lounge – a space where they can be together without outsiders. There, relatives are taught how to establish contact.

      Kirill, who became a grandson again

      Kirill's story is one of those where everything could have turned out differently. He ended up in a boarding school not because of parental abandonment: the boiler in the house broke down, making it uninhabitable. The child was taken away, and he spent several years in the institution.

      Kirill with his grandmother

      When staff found his grandmother Galina Borisovna, she agreed to restore contact. With the help of specialists, she moved to Arzamas, found housing and work. At first, Kirill only visited her during the day, but then he started staying longer. Over time, he stopped wanting to return to the boarding school. His grandmother quit her job to be with him. Now they live together.

      Nikita, who started to speak

      Sometimes a return begins with a single call. Nikita ended up in a boarding school after his mother Marina was imprisoned (she was protecting herself and her son from domestic violence).

      Nikita with his mother

      Their first meeting took place via video call. It was then that staff heard Nikita speak for the first time – he had previously been considered non-verbal. After her release, Marina was helped with housing in Arzamas. Now Nikita lives with her, while in a long-term leave format. They are gradually getting used to normal life together.

      A family that reappears anew

      It is not always possible to return a child to biological relatives. In such cases, foster families are sought. Sometimes the staff of the boarding school become those families. For instance, caregiver assistant Irina took guardianship of 16-year-old Nikita, who had spent his entire life in institutions. Later, another teenager, Roma, joined the family. Now they live together, manage a household, and take care of a dog. Irina left her job to focus on the children.

      New connections within the system

      Sometimes important relationships arise even without searching for relatives. Employee Nadezhda became friends with 22-year-old Natasha. They go for walks together, travel to the city, and visit the hairdresser. Natasha has been to her house, met the pets, and spent time outside the boarding school. For her, this is a new experience.

      When family is found after years

      The experience of "Mayak" has inspired leaders of adult boarding schools. At the initiative of the head of the Kuzmyar psychiatric boarding school, Mikhail Petukhov, and the director of the Vetluzhsky psychiatric boarding school, Alexei Gribanov, the project "Path to the Native Harbor" is being implemented. It also involves searching for relatives for residents of psychiatric boarding institutions. Staff have been appointed in the boarding schools to search for relatives for their wards. There have already been some initial successes. In the Kuzmyar psychiatric boarding school, relatives of 73-year-old Alexei Fyodorovich, who had believed them to be deceased for over 20 years, were found. In 2025, he met with his family at a dacha. Communication continues to this day. Another ward, Nikolai, asked to find his parents himself. Staff found his father in Dzerzhinsk. They are now communicating and considering the possibility of living closer to each other. In the Vetluzhsky boarding school, relatives sometimes find their loved ones themselves. For example, the niece of one resident saw his photo on social media and contacted the institution. There are also cases where it is possible to reunite relatives who lost each other in childhood.

      Not always necessary to take home...

      ... sometimes it is enough just to return a person to someone’s life. A resident of the boarding school, Lyudmila Viktorovna, asked to find her daughter. She was located through social media. Initially, communication took place with the involvement of a psychologist, then it became regular. At the same time, she decided not to restore contact with other relatives.

      When a person has someone

      Such stories used to be rare. Now they are gradually becoming part of systematic work. Yes, searching for relatives is long and complicated, but it changes the lives of people in boarding schools. They gain the opportunity to communicate, visit, celebrate holidays outside the institution. And most importantly, a person appears for them, for whom they are not just wards.

      Photos provided by the press service of the People's Front project "Region of Care."

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